Pillar of life

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For the past few days, am dwelling on a single thought;

How it feels when you have someone to lean on ? 

Having someone not as a friend, but as the pillar of your life ? Someone who despite of all the miles between, is still with you and is your pillar of strength. 

I do not know how it feels when you have someone on whom you can rely for life and then sleep like a log..?

so who is my pillar of strength ? 

or is that, i really do not have anyone whom i can call by this name?

Unfortunately i do not have answer to any of these questions. 

If i see people around me , inner circle ones...  undoubtedly they are the best people one can ever get in life , still i am unable to rely on them blindly. Am not saying that i do not trust them , i trust them with my life, still i do not feel that i can just lean on them and feel calm.

Why is it so ?  Is it wrong with them or with me ? Guess nothing is wrong with them, as they are really beautiful and amazing souls, who have shielded me from shattering when i was fragile and life threw its worst on me.

Anything wrong with me ? - Again i do not know whats wrong with me.

This changes my question to "What is my pillar of strength ?" .

When i look around, it always appears that life is cruel. Everyone out there is fighting.. some people fight for existence, while other for survival and rest are struggling for proving themselves. No one seems content or relaxed that there is someone for them who will ensure life goes fine. Guess, despite of all odds, they have one thing, which is called Hope . Hope that everything will turn out to be fine. Hope that it will be good at the end and if it's not it is not the end.

Conclusion - Hope is strength. 

For me ? Do not know!


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