My world My life

 Ages since I visited this place. The last time I came here was when I was down with Covid, and this time, when am down with another infection! Phew!  So many things have happened in the world since then, the most recent one being India knocked out of T20 Men's World Cup! On another note, yes, a lot has happened not just in the world, but in our day-to-day lives too. I came here to clear my head, but now when am scribbling things, have nothing in my heart to write. Is it really that I have nothing to write or just a block, what they call a writer's block? It's difficult to explain. Or maybe I just need to be regular, to be in the state where words just flow.  Am almost back to domestic life, some might say, have been domesticated after 15 years. This time, definitely more mature, more vocal than ever, and at the same time close. Someone, to whom, now family tells, to go out and meet people. I have turned a corner and am a person who can live the entire day sitting in a ro...

Every one of us evolves every minute based on what has happened around us, and how do we react to the happenings. It is said, that this rate of evolution decreases with age, ie kids evolve much faster than the adults, which is quite visible too in terms of physical evolution. But if we compare among the adults, the rate of this evolution or some people may call it maturing, is very different from person to person.  There are people who mature much faster than others, and then there are a few who mature overnight! Comparison is something that we can't help without, and especially for people like me, who always crave for data. Hence, i will take the privilege to compare this maturity level based on my experience and observations.  We can always classify people in following broad categories : a) Who learn just by reading about strangers (ie learn by the books) b) Who learn by observing the surroundings c) Who learn only on the job ie only once they commit a mistake they will lear...

It seems like ages that I wrote something, except for business emails or official documents. Ahh, was it really the busyness or was I trying to escape from writing something, since now a lot of people have access to this place? As usual, I don't have an answer to these questions. It's that time of year, for which I used to wish that the calendar skips a couple of days, alas that doesn't happen. I always wondered why am I the way I am. When people count days to their birthday, I just wish the calendar to skip this one day, or just want the day to pass by as normal as it can. And in order to avoid anything and everything, had started taking trips around my birthday. And as always, have so many sweet people and friends around me, who want to make it a special for me. People whom it's difficult to say no to, not because they are like that, but, yeah the yes will bring that smile on their faces.  I could never figure out the reason behind these things. Or is that thi...

Main udna chahta hoon, daudna chahta hoon, girna bhi chahta hoon … bus rukna nahi chahta.... Can you guess this dialogue ? Am sure yes you can ! Bunny (from YJHD) says this!  YJHD happens to be one of those movies with whose storyline i could connect the most in recent times! Dunn worry am neither Naina nor Bunny, but yes somewhere a part of me relates to both of them.  When i used to watch this movie (don't even remember the number of times i have seen it, despite of the fact that i distaste Ranbir Kapoor); i liked this dialogue of Bunny but could never relate to it.  Today, out of the blues i can feel it! Coz somewhere i have also started thinking like this. I just want to be busy, do every single thing in life, except stopping at a place! Want this time to run as fast as it can and it never stops !  Am not scared of falling, but definitely scared of stopping at a place for long!  PS: Random thoughts! Purely fictional and no relation to anything...

We all have some wish list, and there are certain things every individual wants so much, that (s)he does every thing to make it happen, prays for it to happen , but it never happens due to unknown reasons. And at the last, when (s)he actually leaves it, everything in the universe starts conspiring to make it happen. Earlier when even tiny things were going haywire, suddenly everything becomes a cake walk. May be that's the time when Destiny had planned it. May be that was the moment, when it was meant to be.  There are instances we feel, which are the worst things that can happen to anyone in life; but as the time passes, and we get to see-through the events, we realize the same incidents were the best way things could happen.  Do we simply get luck by chance or is it all written; decided by the Destiny ?

All i remember in the recent months is, working like a robot ignoring emotions, feelings, up to an extent health too. Every day starts with a random song on phone, then get ready and leaving for office, listening to music on the way, reaching office, having breakfast and then start the day at work. by the time i have a look over my watch its already lunch time; at times i forget that my body needs food too! Have lunch, take a small walk after lunch, go back to work meetings and then a tea break. Again a few meetings and back to home. Change, refresh and be seated in the balcony with headphones, feel the breeze , speak to mom have dinner , read a book and go to sleep! That's been my routine for past few weeks.  So mechanical, so into oneself, with everyday i feel am loosing the power to deal with the shit of the world or may be am saving myself from all the people around (to be understood as negativity around). It's difficult to decide which of the two things is more applicable...

For the past few days, am dwelling on a single thought; How it feels when you have someone to lean on ?  Having someone not as a friend, but as the pillar of your life ? Someone who despite of all the miles between, is still with you and is your pillar of strength.  I do not know how it feels when you have someone on whom you can rely for life and then sleep like a log..? so who is my pillar of strength ?  or is that, i really do not have anyone whom i can call by this name? Unfortunately i do not have answer to any of these questions.  If i see people around me , inner circle ones...  undoubtedly they are the best people one can ever get in life , still i am unable to rely on them blindly. Am not saying that i do not trust them , i trust them with my life, still i do not feel that i can just lean on them and feel calm. Why is it so ?  Is it wrong with them or with me ? Guess nothing is wrong with them, as they are really beaut...

First post of the year ! Well hope everyone having a galla time and have a fantastic year ahead. I wish the same for myself too. Though no such updates on my part, but suddenly everyone has started worrying about me a lot. Sometimes i wonder, people around me are much more concerned about my life than myself. Whenever something like this happened earlier, it used to raise an alarm for me; but this time this is appearing so mundane, that it has started irking me with no proper reason. Well i have been like this, someone who doesn't like to be center of attraction, and somehow end up with the same only every time, everyplace. There was a time, when i started hating the things, and now they do not even affect me. Now, it hardly makes any difference to my day if someone is talking about me behind my back or in front of me. And the icing on the cake, i do not even acknowledge the facts and ignore. When random people do this, i do not bother, but when my near and dear ones do ...

Yes, you got it right, it is as silly and simple as asking for what do you want to have for dinner? Seems simple question, but went asked, sends chills through your spine! Appears to be the simplest one but difficult to answer  yet the most dodged one. If asked most of the people will give answer in mono-syllables and the moment it gets subjective, they start fumbling.  Well, I asked the same question to myself instead of asking to others. And the only answer i got was "I don't know " .Yeah true, i do not know what i want in life, but for sure i know what i do not want in life. What i distaste the most and what i refrain from the most. I may not be able to list my wishes, but for sure know how to list down what i do not wish for. Or rephrasing , i do not know what to wish for, but for sure i know what not to wish for even in dreams. That's why all my prayers have always been vague (and guess that's why He is also confused :P )  Coming back to square ...

People say life starts at twenty, I believe it starts when you start living it. It might happen at an age of five, it might happen at fifty. In a way, its altogether an individual's belief, when he/she starts living his/her life. I believe that life starts when you start living at your own. At your own doesn't mean being financially independent, it means independence in terms of thoughts. There are people who can not think by themselves even at an age of fifty, while there are some who do this at a very early age, which might be even less than eighteen. I took 18 here, as legally speaking one becomes adult at 18. So, it entirely up to an individual and the way he/she has been brought up. Thereby, it depends on the family atmosphere one lives in. I know people, who are still kids, though they are elder to me and know some who are more mature but are younger to me. By being kids, i meant that people are incapable of taking their own decision , come what may be the reason behind ...

What to do when one is tired of being oneself?? Yeah, am tired of myself, of my life and of my lifestyle. I never wanted to be a mechanical robot who is always given each and every instruction by someone else. But today am one of those mechanical bodies only, who has no wish list, no dreams,no charm and more over no enthusiasm. It all ended a long back ...when life tried to take over me. And after a long and tiresome conflict, it has finally taken over me and myself. Though it never challenged me openly instead took the path of silent killing, and unknowingly i fall into the trap. And today when i could realize the trap, its already too late to react. Now the only way to escape from here is to live with it. Wooh that's the Irony of Life!!! PS: This has nothing to do with anyone's life or my life, is purely fiction, just based on the jist of today's culture and lifestyle!

You might be thinking about the title and what am going to write ...? Well this is one of the most expected but the most weird question that we all have to answer in this phase of life ...when we all are settled in our professions. Why don't people understand, when they themselves have been through this phase, that marriage is not the goal of life. Life is much more than marriage! Huh...! Whenever you try to be a part of family get together each and every uncles/aunts of yours tries to be the first one to get a match for you and will do anything to convince you for the match that they want for you! yaar inhe kya matlab hai meri shaadi se ...meri marzi mai karu ya na karu .... inhe kya milne wala hai meri shaadi se ??? mujhe yeh samajh nahi aata! :X Since i have done my grads, this is the most common question which i have to answer "Beta, when are you getting married??" or some other version like "Aur, mithaai kab khila rahi hai ??" as if this is the only occas...

Some questions which bang my mind .... 1. We all know what we have today will change tomorrow than why do we keep on fighting for the same? 2. we have read and known this fact since our childhood that "Only constant thing is change" ...then why do we resist them? 3. All the memories that we have, all the time that we have spent with our pals will never come again , still we feel bad about them not being with us now...which is not fair. Why is it so ? 4. The things from which we run the most are most likely to happen in our life. 5. Things which are close to heart, people who are close to you, remain with you for a very short span of time.Why ? 6. Why can't time stop? 7. Is it possible to make time run backwards instead of running forward always? 8. Above all why can't i trust time? Can anyone find answers to these questions for me??

Life takes so many different paths , that sometimes the known also appears to be the unknown. And our mind thinks that it's a new vibe of the nature to trap us. Unfortunately, the nature is misunderstood and blamed for long for these stupid acts of mind. It goes the same way as in a cruise. We can never identify the correct way untill and unless there is a light house or the pole star directing towards the right. In the same way one also needs a light to lit up the way and fade away the darkness leaving the beautiful path to be tracked, and this is the light of trust of a companion, a person who tracks your way till the end, ensuring that nothing goes wrong. Although we know that companion, share our dreams with that and no doubt respect most. Still there are moments when we neglect him completely, ignoring his blessings infact blaming the same for the darkness prevailing in our surroundings and completely denying one's own fault. But is it right?? Blaming the same person who i...