A curious case of Split Personality!
All i remember in the recent months is, working like a robot ignoring emotions, feelings, up to an extent health too. Every day starts with a random song on phone, then get ready and leaving for office, listening to music on the way, reaching office, having breakfast and then start the day at work. by the time i have a look over my watch its already lunch time; at times i forget that my body needs food too! Have lunch, take a small walk after lunch, go back to work meetings and then a tea break. Again a few meetings and back to home. Change, refresh and be seated in the balcony with headphones, feel the breeze , speak to mom have dinner , read a book and go to sleep! That's been my routine for past few weeks. So mechanical, so into oneself, with everyday i feel am loosing the power to deal with the shit of the world or may be am saving myself from all the people around (to be understood as negativity around). It's difficult to decide which of the two things is more applicable here.
Well this thought came to me, when one of my cousins called me up and asked for the plan for weekend. She asked me when did i go out last; and i was like it was with you only guess a few weeks back. The only reaction she could give was "What ??? " And she promptly ordered me to plan something for this weekend! And all i could tell her was, i do not have energy to do that, you
tell me what you want to do! Phew !! Another way to escape ! :P
This question of hers, had put my brain to work, she forced me to think what am i doing with life? I do not remember when was it last time
a) when i got excited to go for shopping?
b) when i made a plan to do something except then breaking the bed for whole day and night
c) Parties , get-togethers excited me
d) i listened to people to know them better
All i can remember is lying in my bean bag, with headphones on, listening to some random music or watching some random video on you tube, feeling the breeze in face, with a book in hand to read.
Well, for some people, am the quite energetic , lively extrovert person while for others am completely introvert like a black box; where things can go inside but nothing comes out.
For me, it feels more like a split personality (i know a bad example) ; but this is what i feel. When someone asks me, if am an extrovert or introvert; i die to tell them it depends on you and not me ! ;)
Alas, i fail to do so !
At times, am an out-goer, and at moments am a closed box.
Do not know if it has something to do with mood swings or random happenings.
Now a question to all the virtual readers of my blog , " Can you tell me why is it happening like this ?"
Well this thought came to me, when one of my cousins called me up and asked for the plan for weekend. She asked me when did i go out last; and i was like it was with you only guess a few weeks back. The only reaction she could give was "What ??? " And she promptly ordered me to plan something for this weekend! And all i could tell her was, i do not have energy to do that, you
tell me what you want to do! Phew !! Another way to escape ! :P
This question of hers, had put my brain to work, she forced me to think what am i doing with life? I do not remember when was it last time
a) when i got excited to go for shopping?
b) when i made a plan to do something except then breaking the bed for whole day and night
c) Parties , get-togethers excited me
d) i listened to people to know them better
All i can remember is lying in my bean bag, with headphones on, listening to some random music or watching some random video on you tube, feeling the breeze in face, with a book in hand to read.
Well, for some people, am the quite energetic , lively extrovert person while for others am completely introvert like a black box; where things can go inside but nothing comes out.
For me, it feels more like a split personality (i know a bad example) ; but this is what i feel. When someone asks me, if am an extrovert or introvert; i die to tell them it depends on you and not me ! ;)
Alas, i fail to do so !
At times, am an out-goer, and at moments am a closed box.
Do not know if it has something to do with mood swings or random happenings.
Now a question to all the virtual readers of my blog , " Can you tell me why is it happening like this ?"