Quiet Reinvention

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I don't remember when was the last time, i visited this page, not for writing but even for reading it. Today when i opened, realised it has been more than 4 months i wrote something. Appears that i have lost the writing skills i had (whatever good/bad i had). What should i write about? 

Have been living a life in silo, practically no social existence, life revolving around close family. Even my phone call history has more spam calls than personal calls. I have almost vanished from social media, and technically only a witness in all the whatsapp groups i have been a part of! Have read close to 20 books this year, and want to read a few more. Trying to learn new things and somewhere contemplating the next step along with a reflective stance on the life that has been so far. 

Looking back,  lost a few friends (at least for me, they were friends, and they may disagree), learning to keep boundaries, being unavailable, and to an extent letting go the responsibilities that i always used to think were mine in the first place. These things literally overhauled the life i used to have, and now am finding ways to chalking out a new one for myself. People around me, have called me out for this, some in a good sense, and some have gone sour! A close friend, whom i lovingly refer on this blog as "My Angel" said, if you kept on going like this, you would need new set of friends around you. Of course, she is not going anywhere, and this was out of concern for me, as i was somewhere loosing friends and social circle. And i do agree with her, she is right as always! Somehow she always nails it, specially when it is about why am doing something and what i need to do. 

I feel with age and time, it is difficult to make new friends, and also difficult to keep the same old ones, specially when you are evolving at different pace and in different directions! Talking about the ones lost, i was finding it difficult to relate with them, or connect with them the way i could earlier. This transition seems dangerously peaceful. Today, am at a point where i would not want to trade my peace with anything, which is self-sabotaging! 


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