My world My life

All i remember in the recent months is, working like a robot ignoring emotions, feelings, up to an extent health too. Every day starts with a random song on phone, then get ready and leaving for office, listening to music on the way, reaching office, having breakfast and then start the day at work. by the time i have a look over my watch its already lunch time; at times i forget that my body needs food too! Have lunch, take a small walk after lunch, go back to work meetings and then a tea break. Again a few meetings and back to home. Change, refresh and be seated in the balcony with headphones, feel the breeze , speak to mom have dinner , read a book and go to sleep! That's been my routine for past few weeks.  So mechanical, so into oneself, with everyday i feel am loosing the power to deal with the shit of the world or may be am saving myself from all the people around (to be understood as negativity around). It's difficult to decide which of the two things is more applicable...

"Be slow to fall into friendship; but when thou art in, continue firm and constant" - Socrates True that is!  Friendship is something which needs understanding, knowing each other inside out, being non-judgmental, reading each others minds/face; and definitely all these things need time. You can read someone only with time that too quality time spent together. Nothing else can replace this.  But once that understanding bond has developed, there is no comeback. Then even miles don't matter, nor do the days of disconnect. Whenever you talk or meet, it feels like forever.  Sometimes, a single good friend is enough for lifetime, while some lucky people, they get plenty.  As psychology states, If a friendship lasts longer than 7 years, psychologists say it will last forever. Well, for me both My Angel and Pole star have been my friends for more than 7 years now, so am glad they will be there forever for me!!! :D 

For the past few days, am dwelling on a single thought; How it feels when you have someone to lean on ?  Having someone not as a friend, but as the pillar of your life ? Someone who despite of all the miles between, is still with you and is your pillar of strength.  I do not know how it feels when you have someone on whom you can rely for life and then sleep like a log..? so who is my pillar of strength ?  or is that, i really do not have anyone whom i can call by this name? Unfortunately i do not have answer to any of these questions.  If i see people around me , inner circle ones...  undoubtedly they are the best people one can ever get in life , still i am unable to rely on them blindly. Am not saying that i do not trust them , i trust them with my life, still i do not feel that i can just lean on them and feel calm. Why is it so ?  Is it wrong with them or with me ? Guess nothing is wrong with them, as they are really beaut...

Read this poem somewhere on internet and it made its place in my heart. Every moment we spent together Has touched our lives, our souls forever The things that we shared and learned Is permanent growth that we've earned. The person that I have grown into today Did not get there by chance, no way I am who I am partly because of you And you are YOU because of me, too The changes I see and what I have learned about me are a response to how we affected our lives and what we discover in each other’s eyes. It is uncertain if we have to part or one day live together Either way, we have touched our lives forever! No matter what the future will show No matter what we are told. We are connected on such a deep levels That no one can remove that, not even the devil. Our feelings might be different a year from now But you are part of me forever somehow A part of me will always be you and a part of you will always be me. no matter what happens ,that much is cer...

Jeete hai chal Om thraambakam yajamahe Sugandhim pushhti vardhanam Uravarukamiva bandhana Mruthyo mukhshi yamaamrtaat Kehta yeh pal Khud se nikal Jeete hain chal Jeete hain chal Jeete hain chal Gham musafir thaa jaane de Dhoop aangan mein aane de Jeete hai chal Jeete hai chal Jeete hai chal Talvon ke neeche hai thandi si ik dharti Kehti hai aaja daudenge Yaadon ke baksho mein jinda si khushbu hai Kehti hai sab piche chodenge Ungliyon se kal ki raet behne de Aaj aur abhi mein khud ko rehne de Kehta yeh pal Khud se nikal Jeete hain chal Jeete hain chal Jeete hain chal.. Ek tukda haseen chakh le Ik dali zindagi rakh le Jite hain chal, Jite hai chal  Jite hain chal, Jite hai chal Hichki ruk jaane de Siski tham jaane de Is pal ki yeh guzarish hai Marna kyu jee lena Boondon ko pee lena Tere hi sapnon ki baarish hai Paaniyon ko raste tu banane de Roshni ke pichhe khud ko jaane de Kehta yeh pal Khud se nikal Jeete hai chal Jeete hai chal...

First post of the year ! Well hope everyone having a galla time and have a fantastic year ahead. I wish the same for myself too. Though no such updates on my part, but suddenly everyone has started worrying about me a lot. Sometimes i wonder, people around me are much more concerned about my life than myself. Whenever something like this happened earlier, it used to raise an alarm for me; but this time this is appearing so mundane, that it has started irking me with no proper reason. Well i have been like this, someone who doesn't like to be center of attraction, and somehow end up with the same only every time, everyplace. There was a time, when i started hating the things, and now they do not even affect me. Now, it hardly makes any difference to my day if someone is talking about me behind my back or in front of me. And the icing on the cake, i do not even acknowledge the facts and ignore. When random people do this, i do not bother, but when my near and dear ones do ...

After two hectic weeks, I have finally got this day in which at least few hours are just mine.  Though have a lot of pending tasks on my to do list; and am a lazy body enjoying the warm winter afternoon, and with loss of words while writing. :( :( :( Two weeks, full of lots of work meetings, pampering sessions, travel, get-together, outings with crazy group of cousins, night outs, impromptu travel plans, wedding in family, first ever dance performance, exploring new places, meeting known strange people, back to workplace with a hectic schedule, inner chaos, some new developments, rumours, and the same Me! It was exhausting, definitely, at the same time, gave a new confidence-  a) First ever dance performance (Salsa Performance)  b) First ever anchoring experience c) Meeting known strangers with a new identity d) Battling the inner chaos, with the strength of smile e) Felt embarrassed while talking to My Angel (This is the most weird and stupid thing, a...