Paradox
My first post here ....
After a long time am sitting alone in my room, with favorite tracks on playlist and a piece of paper with a pen in my hand... and some passing by thoughts in my mind. Thoughts which don't have any existence while am pre occupied but today they flooded my mind with a thrash kicking every fruitful idea out. And again am back to square one i.e. blank....empty like the sky....which has so much....has so many particles still appears empty....as none can be seen only can be sensed.... "Empty still not empty" .....But here, in my case am not able to decipher the meaning of the random thoughts....banging my head....as if having a head on collision within mind...unable to queue them up into a sensible idea. Once again leaving it to Him, after all am so close to Him....just like am close to my heart beat.
Today, in fact this very moment I can see the life of many....many people around me....their paths....the twists and turns of their life....but can't understand their thoughts....still know the jist of their life....then why can't I judge my own....know and understand those of my own life? Even I don't know what I want exactly from my own.
Sometimes I feel, He has nothing more to offer me... Sometime it seems I need to own the complete ocean while presently I own a tiny droplet of water!!! What a contrast??
Still so calm, quiet!! So much of conflict....but calmness like that of sea persists...
No doubt, it's the calm of the earth on the surface.....and the inside...a cache of messed up things....a pile of eruptions....But silence, the coyness still remains in my heart.
A heart full of every damn possible thing, still so silent!!
That's the paradox of my life (as I think, as am never able to understand the reasons behind ).... a paradox having no solutions except just letting it go.....
After a long time am sitting alone in my room, with favorite tracks on playlist and a piece of paper with a pen in my hand... and some passing by thoughts in my mind. Thoughts which don't have any existence while am pre occupied but today they flooded my mind with a thrash kicking every fruitful idea out. And again am back to square one i.e. blank....empty like the sky....which has so much....has so many particles still appears empty....as none can be seen only can be sensed.... "Empty still not empty" .....But here, in my case am not able to decipher the meaning of the random thoughts....banging my head....as if having a head on collision within mind...unable to queue them up into a sensible idea. Once again leaving it to Him, after all am so close to Him....just like am close to my heart beat.
Today, in fact this very moment I can see the life of many....many people around me....their paths....the twists and turns of their life....but can't understand their thoughts....still know the jist of their life....then why can't I judge my own....know and understand those of my own life? Even I don't know what I want exactly from my own.
Sometimes I feel, He has nothing more to offer me... Sometime it seems I need to own the complete ocean while presently I own a tiny droplet of water!!! What a contrast??
Still so calm, quiet!! So much of conflict....but calmness like that of sea persists...
No doubt, it's the calm of the earth on the surface.....and the inside...a cache of messed up things....a pile of eruptions....But silence, the coyness still remains in my heart.
A heart full of every damn possible thing, still so silent!!
That's the paradox of my life (as I think, as am never able to understand the reasons behind ).... a paradox having no solutions except just letting it go.....